Let Me Get It Out Of My System, Please.

What causes people to say horrible things about other people? Especially if they have no real reason to? And another thing that irks me is that none of your "friends" say anything to those people talking about you. It makes me so angry to know that someone who I used to be friends with, stopped being friends with, then became "civil" with, spent her graduation evening talking about me. I haven't said more than two words to her at a time in over a year now. And it makes me livid to know that she's still holding a grudge against me for literally, no reason whatsoever. I mean, yes, she may have some reason in her head, because otherwise, it'd be completely insane to hate me for no reason at all.

If she still hates me for the same reason all of my ex-boyfriends friends used to (and probably still do) "hate" me for (for just breaking up with him) then that's a very idiotic thing to hate someone for, especially since it happened, oh, a year ago. And if she only hates me, just because she doesn't like me, then good for her, I don't really care. The only thing I care about is the stupid shit she's saying. And I'm not totally sure if she was the only person saying things about me, but still, she was at least one of them.

I mean, she just graduated, come on. She should be a hell of a lot more mature than to sit there, at a graduation party, and gossip. She shouldn't even be thinking about me, not only because it's her graduation evening, but because I haven't even made contact with her in any way, shape, or form. And another thing, I was just planning on being civil with her, I don't like her, I don't want to be her friend, but I don't want to be in this, constant, typical high school girl battle.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY SHE'S HOLDING A GRUDGE. It's so confusing to me. I mean, she really has nothing at all to hate me for. Okay, yea, we used to be really good friends and now we aren't. So!?! Am I the only person who sees something wrong here? Am I the only one who thinks that the right thing to do is to drop it, don't talk about the other person, don't think about the other person, don't look at the other person, don't even talk to the other person??? Am I the only one who doesn't want an argument or a constant war over something that happened over a year ago?

She needs to get over it. She either needs to stop thinking about this whole "I hate Alex, she's a bitch, blah blah blah." or she needs to forget about me completely. Because I really don't want to be bothered by people telling me how much she hates me or how much she talks about me. Because it burns my chest with a deep anger to know that she thinks she so superior to have the nerve to talk about me.

I even forgot about it for a little while after I found out. And my best friend found out and got even angrier than I was. This shows you how immature and low she is, and how stupid and idiotic her actions are. I hope she grows up one of these days. Because she will get no where in life if she continues to act this way as she gets out there on her own in the world. I'm sorry, but this is so stupid, and I hope, no, I know I will never be as shallow of a person as she has been in the past year and a half.

2:30 AM Blogging

So, I have been blogging less and less I've noticed. It's not that I haven't really had time, I just haven't been inspired or motivated to write one recently (I'm sure you noticed my last blog).

Lately I've been talking to new friends, old friends, and many friends that have become closer to me. Thanks to a couple Regents/finals and a few late night conversations. It's also becoming clearer about who makes me happy and who doesn't. I'm also distinguishing who I enjoy talking to and who I don't enjoy talking to, making it seem like it's a chore that I have to have a conversation each night with them.

The other night, while I was in the shower (that wasn't meant to sound weird or anything) I was thinking about a few different people that fit into different categories (guys mainly, then I did the same thing with girls). Here's what went through my mind (or the best I can remember):
1) Who do enjoy talking to?
2) Who makes me smile without even trying?
3) Who tries to make me smile?
4) Who makes it a point to ask me how I'm doing or how my day was?
5) Who do I tend to think about for a period of time after we have a conversation?
6) Who can I have a conversation with that'll actually make me "lol"?
7) Who compliments me often or even every now and then?
8) Who do I get along with online, in school, out of school, and/or on the phone (pretty much everywhere)?
9) Who stays in touch consistently, rather than having a conversation here and there, every once in a while?
10) Who gets on my nerves or makes fun of me to a point where it's just obnoxious?

I may have had more questions while I was in the shower, but here are the answer to these questions. I'm going to use the letters A-F instead of names, because I'm shy like that. (These are all males by the way.)
1) A, B, C, D, E, F
2) A, D, E, F
3) A, B, D, E
4) A, B, E
5) A, E, F
6) A, D, E
7) A, B, E, F
8) B, C, D, E, F
9) E, F
10) A, B

Now, it may seem like I favor some more than others. That's not really true. One of those little letters has recently been making me want to pull my hair out without even trying because of how childish they've been acting. But I don't want to dwell on that because I've only started to think about him now. So, I hope you enjoy this little, poll, I guess. It's more for me and a few close friends. But, yes, that's what was on my mind that one night in the shower.

Again with another small blog, I need to plan these things out from now on...

Long Time Overdue...

Okay, I think I've stared at this blank text box long enough, time to start blabbing about nothing. Since I've already told Jess my story of the night about the stupid weather and not being able to go out (Which it has stopped raining thank you very much!), I don't want to re-type it all over again. Sorry.

Moving on, I've decided that I'm going to totally empty out my room (somewhat) and start fresh. I don't know what exactly it's called what I'm doing, but I'm going to box up pretty much everything and only leave the stuff that I'm going to be using this summer. For example, my sewing machine/stuff, my painting stuff, my instruments (flute and oboe), my scrap booking things, my clothes (duh), and I guess a few things here and there.

So, I just had a week and a half full of finals, review, and regents. I think I did really well on my math regents, so-so on my US History regents, and completely horrible on my Chemistry regents. With that said, I don't want to go any further because of how scared I am that I failed my Chem. regents.

I'm going to miss this past school year. I've made many new friends, and many of those many new friends aren't going to be in school next year because they were seniors this year. This depresses me a little bit, but I'll manage. I just know I'm going to be a mess at their graduation though, oh boy.

Today I took my camera and the manual out and I played around, and I must say, I'm very glad I save manuals. I didn't know my camera was capable of doing all these things. And now taking photos is going to be so much more interesting and exciting. I can't wait to go out and take more now. Yes I know, go ahead and say it, "Alex, you're a dork."

Well, on that note, I don't feel very motivated to blog anymore. I'll make it a short one. Oh, and thank you Brandon for the title, even though you didn't suggest it, I stole your words.